Love...

I sat down with Sophia tonight and rocked her like I do every night. As I rocked her, we read two stories out of her princess book and chatted a little bit about our day and then we began saying prayers. I sometimes say them and she repeats me, or sometimes she just comes up with her own prayer. Tonight as I prayed, I prayed a prayer my Mom taught me when I was a little girl:

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I shall die before I awake
I pray the Lord my soul to take

As a little girl I found comfort in this prayer because no matter where I was, or if my mom wasn't with me to help lead me into prayer, I had something to whisper up to God. Something to let my God know that I loved Him and wanted to be with Him. And as I prayed this prayer, I always felt like my Mom was praying it with me. Because of the comfort, security and love this prayer brought me, I wanted to share and teach it to Sophia. So as I said each verse, I asked her to repeat after me. When she repeated 'If I shall die before I awake', she got a very concerned look on her face. She asked why we were praying that. How do you explain death to a 3 year old? She correlates dying with my uncle Todd because that was the first time she heard the word 'died or passed away'. So as best as I could, I tried to explain to her that I didn't want anything to happen to her, but if for some reason it did, I would want her to be up in heaven where God was taking care of her and looking over her. And then I went on to tell her, "Even though Mommy and Daddy love you so very much, God loves you even more!" I told her God put her in my tummy and made her. She looked at me trying so hard to understand what I was telling her. I want her so badly to understand how much her Creator loves every single hair on her head and designed every little freckle, mole, and blood cell. That she is 'special', 'unique' and wonderfully and beautifully made. I want her to know she can be anything she wants to be and that I believe in her. I want her to ultimately know her worth! I feel like so many kids these days don't feel worthy or know how special and precious they are, and I want to make sure my girls know that as God loves me unconditionally, I will love them unconditionally. I am of course their Mommy, who wipes their tears and kisses their boo-boo's, but I feel I am also their mentor and the words that I say to them and use around them are how they will feel about themselves and who they will become. We as parents, have such a huge impact on the growth and development of our children. And though as a human being, I know I will make mistakes along the way, I want to be able to look back and see that I was a positive example and tool in the woman they grow up to be.