Why women cry...

Found this on Pinterest and had to share:) Enjoy!

Source: thatmysteriousgirl.tumblr.com via Emily on Pinterest

A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?” “Because I’m a woman,” she told him. “I don’t understand,” he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.” Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?” “All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, “God, why do women cry so easily?” God said, “When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfaltering. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.” “You see my son,” said God, “the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides.” Author: Unknown

Nature vs. Nurture...

Nature vs, Nurture...this has always been a huge debate. How does a child develop character and personality? Which has the most underlying influence on the growth and development? I have always thought both, but not in the sense of one really being a catalist or usher in the latter. You might be going, huh? What the heck does she mean? I'll explain.

I always thought that every child was born with innate characteristics and what the child was lacking or needing, the nurturing would somehow balance out. Kind of like a 50/50 understanding. In my head it has always made sense, that if something is broken, you fix it. Or if someone needs help, with something, you do it for them. That's helping right? Wrong.

Today, a light bulb just went on in my head, and I realized, that maybe I go about things in the wrong way when it comes to nurturing my girls growth and learning. My nurturing has not been 'nurturing' at all. Instead of nurturing 'the nature' part of my girls, sometimes I bend, force, or take over. I have little patience, yet I am constantly work on this area, hoping one day I can have patience like my Mother, who is practically an angel. No, really, she is! I guess, what I'm trying to say in not so many words (or a whole lot, lol), is if your anything like me, instead of trying to fix your children's short comings or weakness, rather then do it for them, or showing them to do it your way, try to 'nurture' their 'nature' so that they can grow to be who God made them to be. Nurture the areas they are still growing in and let them know that it's okay if they have their own way of coming to a solution or that you believe in their inner ability enough to step back and let them figure it out on their own. I think there is harm to being over involved in your children's growth and development. Sometimes parents have such high hopes and dreams for their children, that they start to take over and stunt their kid's natural gifts, talents, dreams, and opinions.
I look at my girls and it brings me to tears to think of Sophia trying to be who 'I' want or think she should be. The girl has a hard time with rhythm when it comes to dancing, but man does she love to dance! And I want her to always dance her heart out as if she's the best dancer in the world. I love art, but it doesn't mean that I need to push her in that direction because she should take after me. She could like math!?!

You don't realize until you become a parent, why your parents used to say,"because I just want what's best for you,or 'this is the way I do things'. And now I see and have experienced how easy it is to get wrapped up in the idea that we are the sole 'potter' for our children and who they become. No matter how much I try to make Sophia this passive little thing, she will NEVER be that way. She will always have an opinion, and see things in her own way. And I now realize how much I was trying to make her like me. It's sad, but the honest truth. I thought to myself, well this is how I was as a little girl, and this is how she should be. I wasn't used to the strength and motivation and independence that she portrayed from such a young age and rather than try to wear that down, I need to celebrate and nurture the fact that she will never take any guff from any guy and will never be anyone's doormat. Alot of her qualities, I wish I had. She is such an amazing little girl at the young age of 3 1/2. Most people think she's going on 5. She's a thinker and a do-er and so confident in her ability. It makes me feel horrible to think I was trying to change or stunt who God made her to be, simply because it did not fit the warped mold of 'the perfect little girl' that I had in my head. I put so much pressure on myself growing up, to be perfect in everyone's eyes, that I just now feel I am becoming who I'm truly supposed to be. I never want Sophia to be someone she isn't, or feel she needs to change to make others happy.I am so proud of my Sophia and that she goes at life with gusto, and yeah she may not have finesse, but she is strong and confident and absolutely loves life! I now see that her weakness were only weakness in my eyes, because of my perfectionist/achiever personality. Man, do you learn alot about life when you become a parent. I can almost bet, my girls are teaching me more, then I am, them. My hope is that as a parent, I bring out the natural best in my children, that these precious little girls the Lord has entrusted to me and Jeff blossom into the two incredible woman God has created them to be and that our nurturing does not stunt them, but rather assists them in their dreams and goals. This is what I think about as a parent and though my mind often worries, I know they are in God's care and provision and though I may fail them from time to time, He never will!

Unconditonal Love...

Have you ever wondered why a dog is a man's best freind, or why you just can't seem to get enough of little kid's hugs and kisses? It kind of came to me in the form of an epiphany while talking with my aunt on a late night, back road drive, while up in Washington. I think the reason puppies/dogs and children are so heart warming to us, is because despite our bad moods, or lack of sleep, our adult tantrums, our forgetfulness, our everchanging minds, and our self focus, they love us anyways. They fill our souls with a sense of peace, constancy, and sincerity. There's just something special about a child's tender hug, or a dogs wet kiss, because they do these things with no ulterior motives, no conditions, just purely out of the unconditional love they have for us. We can depend on our dogs and we can depend on our kids. Often, many people's pets are their children and it makes perfect sense to me now. They have the same uninhibited vulnerability, and transparent display of affection. They love with all their hearts, never contemplating rejection, never pondering jealousy. Their love is honest, pure and full of grace. This may sound like a 'duh' statement, but have you ever thought that maybe the reason God gave us children was not so that we could teach them about life, but rather that they could teach us about ourselves and our relationships? I feel like I have learned so many more life lessons from my girls, than I have taught them their ABC's or how to count. I thought that once I became an adult, I would pretty much know all I needed to know and I would be who I was supposed to be. Yet, sometimes I feel like I'm the child and my daughter is so much wiser beyond her years. Half of me is relieved, that it's okay that I'm still growing, and the other half is excited to see who I'll be 10, 20, 30 years from now! I don't have to figure life all out at the age of 27, but I do need to start loving like a child, unconditionally and full of grace!

Spin with me Mommy...

I have had tunnel vision lately in the worst way. It has brought me frustration, self-doubt, tears, and anger, however, God gently and lovingly pulled up a magnifying glass to my eyes and showed me in the little moments this weekend, where my focus should truly be. I am a nurturer, a Momma, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I am human and make mistakes. I am a student still learning about life.
When my oldest says, 'spin with me Mommy,' as her eyes are closed and face up to the sky, I think to myself, I wish I had the free-spirit she has. It constantly amazes me how my 3 1/2 year old little girl can teach me so much about life in a simple twirl in the front yard. Or when she says, 'Can you just come sit with me Momma.?' She doesn't want some of me, she wants all of me. Isn't this so true of our Heavenly Father.? He wants all of our heart, mind, soul, and body. Not half, not 3/4, but all of it.
Honestly, I can say that hasn't been the case lately. Have you ever gotten stuck on the 'me' syndrome temporarily? Not a pretty sight, nor curable on your own energy. It takes the love of a Father to open your eyes to see the wonder, amazement, and breathtaking beauty in both the scenarios that surround your everyday life, and also in those big innocent eyes of your child. If we let it, the world will rub it's ugliness off on us and toss us aside, but if we cling to the pureness and truth that we have in our Savior, we will never be seeking a cure to fill the void. Here's to dancing through life one twirl at a time!

What's that in the sky?

The weekend we spent up at my Grandparents for the Cancer Walk was incredible! The walk began at 3pm on Saturday and ended Sunday at 9am. I went with the girls and walked from 5 to 7pm, then went back home and put the girls to bed. I ended up falling asleep while putting Sophia to sleep and woke up startled, hoping I hadn't slept through my late night shift. Thankfully, my parents were just getting home as I was trying to fully wake up. My dad took me to the track at 11:30pm and I stayed there with my aunts and cousin, and little sister until 6am, all the while, dance-walking laps around the track, talking up a storm, and remembering the reason we were doing this! My Uncle Todd passed away last November and in honor of him, my Dad's entire family participated in the Cancer Walk. My Dad even pushed my sweet Grandpa around the track in his wheelchair. It was such a special celebration, that we as a family could do, for my Uncle Todd.

On our drive home, the sun was shining and we were all in great spirits. As I'm driving, I hear Sophia ask me, "Mommy, what's that? She then points up to the sky and asks again, "What's that up there? Mommy, is that Jesus up in the sky?" I'm looking and asking her where she's looking, and to her it was as plain as day. She was seeing something we weren't. She saw Jesus looking down on us as we drove home. Out of all of us in the car, Jesus appeared to her. She wasn't distracted by the things she needed to do when she got home, or the emails she needed to return. Nor was she pre-occupied with the many things going on around the world. Instead she was living in the moment, eyes and heart wide open, peeking up at the sky daydreaming in the clouds. She was 100% available and she saw Jesus! It comforted me, and also reminded me, when I pray for guidance, wisdom or signs from God, I also need to have my heart and eyes wide open and be available for Him to speak to me. It's incredible the lessons our little one's teach us, not only about life, but also about our relationship with our Heavenly Father.

Letting go...

When you lose someone, does the mourning process have an end? Will I one day wake up and be okay with the fact that my Uncle Todd isn't here with us? These questions were running through my head as I stood in the shower last night and all the sudden,the tears started streaming down my face. In my head I was thinking, 'I thought I got this all out, I thought this stage of mourning was over." I guess I was wrong. I was annoyed with myself, with the fact that I should be over these cry-fests, and stop blubbering and find peace in knowing that he is in heaven with God. I felt like I was having a pitty-party, like I'm the only one missing him, and I know the rest of my family misses he so very much too. After I got out of the shower, I found an old sweatshirt of his that I had requested after he had passed away, when my Dad was up there helping clean out his house. I hugged and squeezed it. And honestly, it really helped and felt as if I were hugging him tight.

Ever since my Uncle has passed away, I have had a dream every week with him in it. They are always happy and we are over having dinner at my grandparents, or at a family get together. He is never in pain or pictured as I saw him those last moments in the hospital bed before he passed. He is always full of life, healthy and smiling. Since I have been having these dreams, it has felt so much like he is still with me. As if for one day, each week, I have had the joy of really-truly spending precious moments with my uncle. It has been a blessing and almost as if he never left. But as my mind usually does, it started snowballing negative thoughts, and it scared me to think that a week might come and go that I wouldn't have a dream about my uncle. The week I had this thought, I had the most vivid dream of all:

We were up at my grandparents, the woman were in the kitchen cooking, the guys in the living room watching sports. Lots of chatter and laughter, the sun was shining and the aroma was some sort of delicious dinner cooking in the oven. I was in the kitchen when my Uncle Todd came in. The whole family was talking about going to my Dad's birthday party and all the travel arrangements. I told my Uncle he had to come and that it would be so fun. He then said to me, 'I don't think I can make it." 'Why?" I said, "You have to, everyone is coming and it wouldn't be complete without you there too!"
"Because, you are the only one that can see me, Lindsi. No one else can see me." With that, I think my heart stopped and I lost my breath. I ran into his arms, tears streaming down my face. "But I can't leave you, you have to come with us, I'll miss you too much!"
"He hugged me tightly and said with peace in his voice and a slight smile, "It's okay, you go ahead. I will be just fine. I will always be here and will never leave you. You can let go now." In my dream I felt a sense of peace and closure come over me. My Uncle Todd was telling me that it was okay to enjoy my days, that I could be happy and not feel guilty because he was not here enjoying it with us. That I didn't have to miss him, because he never left...

I feel my Uncle around me constantly in the little things. When I look at my Dad, I see similarities of my Uncle Todd. When I see anything to do with soccer, music, or SCI-FI, I think of him. When I'm up in Washington at my Grandparents house, I think of him because he was over there literally everyday having dinner and helping my grandma and grandpa. He loved records, movies, board games and poker, but most of all his family. I don't think I'll ever stop missing him, nor do I think the sudden onset of tears will ever completely end, but the wonderful thing I do know is that this separation between our family and my uncle isn't for eternity. That one day we will get to see him again. One day I can run into his arms and give him another big hug! But for now when I see these things that remind me of him, I will smile and know in my heart, he is still a part of us.

Make Time for Love...

With two little girls and the hustle-bustle of everyday life, I sometimes find me and my hubby's alone time being put on the back burner. Not that I don't LOVE spending time together as a family with our daughters, Sophia and Peyton. Actually this is when I usually laugh the hardest and feel the most complete. But I have found that with another child and my hobby/home business growing, our wife/hubby time has been more and more put in the category of 'later' or 'next time'. Let me clarify what I mean by 'alone time'; I mean talking, sharing, laughing, planning, and dreaming together. And as much as I know we have to make sacrifices for our children, I don't think we are meant to sacrifice our relationship with each other for the sake of our jobs/hobbies/and even our families 'wants'. Maybe I should explain in more detail...The strength of the family and structure of the family (in my belief) come from the bond and love between the parents. So in other words, if the parents display trust, contentment, love and encouragement, than the children will feel those same things and feel true joy and happiness. I adore my husband of 9 years to no end and I am so incredibly thankful to have some one so patient and understanding in my life. If you know me, you know I can talk anyone's ear off and I love to talk through problems, aspirations and even about mundane things such as hair and clothes, so to have a hubby that will sit there and listen to anything and everything lets me know he truly cares. But I also want to be there for him too and sometimes after caring for the girls all day, working on jewelry in between and then making dinner, keeping up with the house, by the time the girls have gone to bed, I'm pooped and ready for bed myself. I simply have no energy left for him and this realization kills me! My biggest fear in life is that I would get caught up in the everyday routines and almost become a robot in my schedule and lose my zest for life and love. I have such an 'achiever' personality that I tend to focus so much on the goal and lose sight of the process. Like I said in a few posts back, I am getting better at living in the moment, but still need a refresher every once in a while. Well this is my refresher and I am seeing my life playing out in a whole new way. I am where I am in my life because this is exactly where God wants me to be. I feel like at times I am trying to run full force ahead and God is gently holding me back, lovingly saying to me, 'You're not quite ready for that yet, and when you are, I will be right beside you cheering you on!" I am not failing because I haven't achieved all my dreams, I am still in the 'process stage' of life. I am so in a rush to be finished, that I miss the small moments that are teaching me the most about who I am. One huge lesson I have learned recently is, I'm not afraid to fail because I now know it's not a personal thing, it's just not the right timing and from failure, we grow and learn. I have also learned that you can't make decisions, nor deal with people based on emotions. Emotions come and go (such as anger and hurt), but to choose to love that person or forgive that person is using the beautiful and logical mind that God gave us! Long story short, (after I've already rambled for five hours, lol) is this: When you truly love someone, you give your life for theirs. You wipe clean the slate, you bury your agenda and love them with every ounce possible. So even if your tired from a busy day, or they left their dirty clothes on the floor, look at them how God would and see them for the heart and soul you married. Brush off the bitterness, and stress of the day and make time for love. Make time to talk about your plans, your dreams, your goals. The dishes can wait, the TV shows can wait, heck sleep can even wait! Make the time to share with each other whats on your heart. So many couples wait until they no longer have anything to share or don't even know the words to begin. My hubby doesn't know it yet, but tomorrow while my mother in law watches the girls, I'm going to surprise him at work so we can have lunch together. Make time for Love!

Love...

I sat down with Sophia tonight and rocked her like I do every night. As I rocked her, we read two stories out of her princess book and chatted a little bit about our day and then we began saying prayers. I sometimes say them and she repeats me, or sometimes she just comes up with her own prayer. Tonight as I prayed, I prayed a prayer my Mom taught me when I was a little girl:

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I shall die before I awake
I pray the Lord my soul to take

As a little girl I found comfort in this prayer because no matter where I was, or if my mom wasn't with me to help lead me into prayer, I had something to whisper up to God. Something to let my God know that I loved Him and wanted to be with Him. And as I prayed this prayer, I always felt like my Mom was praying it with me. Because of the comfort, security and love this prayer brought me, I wanted to share and teach it to Sophia. So as I said each verse, I asked her to repeat after me. When she repeated 'If I shall die before I awake', she got a very concerned look on her face. She asked why we were praying that. How do you explain death to a 3 year old? She correlates dying with my uncle Todd because that was the first time she heard the word 'died or passed away'. So as best as I could, I tried to explain to her that I didn't want anything to happen to her, but if for some reason it did, I would want her to be up in heaven where God was taking care of her and looking over her. And then I went on to tell her, "Even though Mommy and Daddy love you so very much, God loves you even more!" I told her God put her in my tummy and made her. She looked at me trying so hard to understand what I was telling her. I want her so badly to understand how much her Creator loves every single hair on her head and designed every little freckle, mole, and blood cell. That she is 'special', 'unique' and wonderfully and beautifully made. I want her to know she can be anything she wants to be and that I believe in her. I want her to ultimately know her worth! I feel like so many kids these days don't feel worthy or know how special and precious they are, and I want to make sure my girls know that as God loves me unconditionally, I will love them unconditionally. I am of course their Mommy, who wipes their tears and kisses their boo-boo's, but I feel I am also their mentor and the words that I say to them and use around them are how they will feel about themselves and who they will become. We as parents, have such a huge impact on the growth and development of our children. And though as a human being, I know I will make mistakes along the way, I want to be able to look back and see that I was a positive example and tool in the woman they grow up to be.

What's in the water!?

As I was putting on my make up and Peyton was happily playing in our soaker tub, I look over and Peyton is no longer alone but has now been joined by a friend (I say friend with a sarcastic tone)"What's in the water!?" I believe this line comes from Caddy Shack, and unfortunately in my case it was not a candy bar. Apparently the combo of breakfast and a nice warm bath did not mesh too well, and relaxed Peyton a bit too much. Yes, dare I say it, a floating poo was in the tub along with my daughter and I about DIED the moment I saw it!!! I had never experienced this situation with Sophia, so you can probably imagine the look of shock, disgust, and panic on my face, lol. I immediately grabbed Peyton and put her in the shower. Then ran to get rubber gloves and plastic bags to fish out the catch of the day...GROSS! I don't usually have a queezy stomach, but this about did me in! I then removed the toys, sanitized the tub and re-cleaned miss Peyton. After it all, Peyton and I survived, but I truly hope this is the first and last time we go through this again! The funniest part, was that in all my panic, poor Peyton was just looking at me with confusion, like she just did what her body needed too, lol. Ahhhh kids, they keep life interesting, that's for sure;)

The Best of Friends...

They say you can't choose your kid's friends, but can I just say that if I could, little miss Elle Young would definitely be on my list! Sophia LOVES Elle and seeing them play together is so incredibly sweet! We lucked out with some beautiful weather Tuesday. And though a bit cold, it was dry, and in Oregon, you gotta take advantage of it when you can! Court and I bundled up the kiddos and met at Bridgeport Village to let the kids play on the outdoor play area. Elle and Sophia must have gone down the slide a hundred times and the cutest part was that they would hold hands and slide down together! Having them get along so well is especially neat, because of me and Courtney having such a great friendship. So even though we get together so the girls can play together, Court and I have just as much fun visiting and chatting about motherhood as well! What a blessing to have such wonderful girls in our lives:)!

Contentment...

I have always been a girl on the search for the next big thing, always planning, always trying to figure out all the little details in my life that would make me happy or make my life the picture perfect example of happiness. Well, I can say with a huge grin on my face and contentment in my heart, that I am no longer that girl. It has come as a bit of a shock to some because I very rarely know what I'm doing from one moment to the next these days, where as before I had every day chock full of 'fun and exciting' things. Now, however, I would rather lounge in pj's with my precious girls and do puzzles or paint pictures or just snuggle! They light up my life with SO much joy that I really could care less about what's going on in the world. Not because I'm lazy or because I'm self-centered, but merely because I'm learning to live in the moment. Things that I used to look forward to, I now loathe because it takes time away from me spending time with my girls. Not sure if it's my womanly-over emotional hormones speaking, but I look at their sweet faces and their big wondrous eyes and tears stream down my face. These little people standing (and crawling) before me, fill me with love and I sometimes wonder if I need them more than they need me. They complete my life and have taught me so much about compassion, love, and living in the moment. Sophia is at such a fun age right now and though a strong little girl, she has such a gentle and forgiving heart. She is filled with kindness and forgiveness. She is an amazing little person with such a wise soul!
And Peyton, well Peyton just has a zest for life! She is constantly smiling and goes at everything will full force! She has NO fear and picks up things after only seeing them done once. Now I know I am extremely biased, but I think I have two of the most precious little people ever created!!! The immense amount of love for the girls almost sometimes hurts because I never want them to feel pain. To have kids of your own, is to get a glimpse of what God did for us by sending His Son to die on the cross. What an incredibly amazing and loving gift. I feel so blessed to have a Heavenly Father that loves me that much! A warm house, good food, incredible family and love all around me...what more could this girl ask for:)

Sophia's Art Gallery...

Sophia has been busy at work creating some masterpieces! Go check them out on my art blog!!!

Answer to Prayer!

Today was Peyton's check up to get her head measured, to see how much the circumference of her head had grown in a month. As I walked in, I felt very at peace and felt no worry or anxiousness. We were placed in the room, got her head measured, and then the doctor came in with the results. She showed me the rate at which her head had grown in a month, and the growth had significantly slowed down! Her pediatrician said there was no longer need for concern and that everything looked perfect, whewww! Thank you everyone for your prayers! It truly is comforting and encouraging knowing there are others out there lifting our little girl up to God!

I then took the opportunity, since we already were there, to ask a few other questions that had been on my mind. I just noticed this about a month ago, but the muscle that attaches your upper lip to your gums is more prominent on Peyton. On her, the muscle actually attaches in between her teeth creating a small split in her teeth. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't going to affect how her teeth came in as far as crowding an not having enough room for all of her baby teeth (she already has my narrow jaws and tiny mouth). The pediatrician also said that there was nothing to worry about for right now and to wait until she is three and gets her first dental check up. Sometimes when all of the baby teeth come in, it actually shift everything and pushes the muscle up, closing the gap in between the two front teeth. So that was another thing to put on the back burner for now. Lastly, I asked the doctor about Peyton walking, or rather NOT walking. The general rule of thumb is that a child should be walking very well all by themselves by 15 months. So the doctor tried holding Peyton's hands and having her walk to me. She then saw the dilemma. It's not that Peyton can't, she just won't. In other words, she's getting where she wants to go fast enough with crawling and is refusing to try to walk. But again she said there was no real concern, and that if by 15 months Peyton still wasn't walking, we would go back in and then talk about a plan of attack. So for now, my list of worries (rather unanswered questions) is all blank and I am just enjoying my growing little girl!

In not so many words...

When I first found out I was pregnant with Peyton, my two thoughts were:(1) "I'm so excited for another baby!", and (2)"How am I going to love this one as much as I love Sophia?"

Well, I can honestly tell you as I saw the doctors carry her from the surgery table to her little bed to clean her, all of the worry melted away, and I felt an overwhelming amount of love for this little person, so much that it made me bawl, not just tear up, but out of control tears streaming down my face. I had such a connection with her from the moment I laid eyes on her!

Having two girls, it is so neat to see the similarities and differences, especially as Peyton gets older and becomes more independent and self sufficient. Peyton is more quiet and observes everything, where as Sophia will talk your ear off. And though Peyton is behind in some areas such as talking and walking, she definitely is not lacking in brains. This girl tells me when she wants to take a nap! Yes, you read that right, she literally puts herself to sleep! Today she was ready to take her nap, so she came to me, binky in her mouth, and blanky in hand and put her hands in the air and motioned me to pick her up. I then asked her, 'Are you sleepy Peyton, ready to go night-night?' While still holding onto her blanky, she then crawled over to our stairs and proceeded to climb up to her bedroom. Peyton also amazes me at how fast she picks things up! She will see Sophia do something once and next thing you know, she has mastered it! She already tries to put her shoes on and prefers feeding herself. She is also a pro at climbing our stairs and can go both up and down them with no problem.

She is a VERY happy baby that is always laughing and usually entertains herself. However, don't try to tell her 'no' or she will give you the evil eye (it's actually pretty cute and is hard not to laugh at). Just like her big sister, Peyton is determined and focused. She knows what she wants and she goes after it 100%, which I think is a good thing, especially as she gets older. She knows that for now, crawling gets her where she wants to go, so she's not interested in walking. She loves fruit, veggies, pasta, sandwiches, and chicken. She's not much of a fan of yogurt, cheese, or cottage cheese, which seems to be due to texture. Her big sister is her idol, and she constantly follows after her as her little shadow trying to keep up with every activity.

I never knew I could love another child as much as I loved Sophia, but now that love pours out of me and continues to overflow in the form of hugs and kisses, and night time snuggling. God has blessed me with two little angels and I pray I can be the mom they deserve!

Still just two teens in love...

Our trip to Palm Springs (Palm Desert), was oh-so relaxing and just the boost of vitamin D that Jeff and I needed! Though we missed our girls VERY much, it was a great time for Jeff and I to enjoy each others company and some alone time! We went to the pool to soak up some sun a few times, read together, enjoyed junk food and watched a movie in our hotel room. I don't think I have ever laughed so much, but then again my hubby has me laughing all the time. When we would be at dinner with his reps, or just in our hotel room late at night after our busy day, Jeff and I would be cracking up together. He would say something, then I would feed off that, and next thing you know we are acting like two big kids being goof balls! The one characteristic that attracted me to Jeff, was his sense of humor, and how even when we just began dating, he would constantly be cracking jokes and making me laugh. I love that we still have that spark and that after 12 years of being together, we still have SO much fun together and our love is only growing as the years go on! I feel like we are still just two teenagers in the giddy-love stage. My husband is an incredible man, and knowing I have my best friend beside me for the rest of my life is such a wonderful feeling of contentment. This line may sound like it came from a cheesy movie, 'but I seriously want to scream it from the rooftops...I'm SO in love!!!'

Jewels...

It's 2:00 a.m, and I should probably be in bed, so this post won't be too long. I just want to share with you the jewels I have in my life and how much they brighten and bless my days! These jewels are not physical in the sense that I wear them for all to see, but rather names that are written on my heart. I feel SO incredibly blessed to have so many amazing people in my life that have such huge hearts and really, truly live for others! Both my friends and family go out of their way all the time to bless either Jeff and I, or our girls and it is so encouraging and inspiring! I sometimes run around like a chicken with my head cut off, because I often put on my plate more than I can balance, but I want you to know (because I may have left or hung up without saying it) how thankful I am for all that you do! Every single act you all have done is such a gift and I am so incredibly blessed by you all (you know who you are:)!!! I hope you all are blessed this week and know what jewels you are to this spastic momma, lol! xoxo!!!

Love,
Lindsi (or Linz as most of you call me)

Prayer brings peace...

Not that I want to sound an alarm, or cause a huge panic, I simply want to inform those close to us about a prayer request. Last time we took Peyton to the doctor for her routine one year check up, they did the normal measurements of her height, head and weighed her. She was in the 75% for her height, the 25% for her weight and the 92% for her head circumference. They printed out her growth charts, came back in and brought up the concern that her head has grown quite fast the last few check-ups in comparison to her height and weight. I just kind of laughed and said, maybe she'll be a genius.? But then her pediatrician said there it actually concern when this is the case because it could mean there is a tumor in the brain causing the skull to grow rapidly. My joking came to an immediate halt as I heard those words. After bringing Peyton home, I found myself watching every move she made, wondering if there could be any other signs that something 'not right' was going on. I have a tendency to want to fix anything and everything and in this situation knew I had no control. I also found myself thinking, 'I wish I could just have x-ray eyes that could see into that little head of hers and know that everything is okay!"

I know I just have to trust God and pray that He watch over Peyton and keep her in His loving care. At night when I put her to bed, I rock her for about 3 minutes in my arms and hum gently to her, and she often hums back;). Now as I rock her, I kiss her head, and pray to God that there is no tumor and that she just has a fast growing, gorgeous head. I feel the tendency to want to wrap her in bubble wrap and protect her from every single thing. But I realize that this is just preparation for the future with our girls. As parents we can love on our children and do our best to raise them and teach them life's lessons, but in no way can we keep them trapped and scared of experiencing life.

The other night, despite my many prayers, I had an out of no where cry-fest and couldn't stop. I believe it was because at that very moment I gave Peyton over to God and accepted His plan for her. We can say we trust God, and that we want His will, but to actually feel it and experience it is a completely different thing. It's throwing your hands in the air and praising Him whether He answers your prayer the way you wanted Him to or not. The tears were a mixture of letting go, not knowing, trust and finally peace.

I can not imagine going through life and it's struggles without a personal relationship with God. He is my inner peace and strength. Knowing He is there to listen and provide what we need, when we need it, just makes me picture His arms around me cradling me in times like these. So I ask you, if you can to please keep Peyton in your thoughts and prayers. I will keep you posted as we find out more! Thank you all SO much!!!

Spontaneous weekend getaway...

My husband is the ultimate planner! We're talking like the planning that takes months, sometimes years, lol. So you can guess my reaction when he spontaneously decided, due to the 3 day weekend, we were going to take a trip to the beach with our girls. I was thrilled! We hadn't been to the beach since last Fourth of July, and it was due time for us to get away and breathe in some fresh salt air!
I packed as fast as my hands could, making sure not to forget the girls fluoride, Peyton's diapers, and warm hats. I've now decided I should have an emergency packing list on hand, just in case, so that I don't forget anything. But for throwing everything in a suit case with limited time, I think I did pretty good, lol.
Our drive there was a little different then we had anticipated and came across snow in the mountain pass and got stalled for a bit because a car had gone in the ditch on a slippery curve. When we safely arrived in Seaside, at Jeff's grandpa's condo, the sun was out and the ocean was beautiful! We bundled the girls up and took them for a quick walk before the sun went down. It was chilly, but beautiful out, and so refreshing to be outdoors enjoying the gorgeous Oregon Coast.

(This is the view you see as you walk out the condo)

Growing up, going to the beach was one of my fondest memories! My dad would take us to Agate Beach to scour the waterline for agates. I also remember going to downtown Newport and watching the boats unload their catch, or going to the Under Sea Gardens to watch the underwater show. These memories bring a huge childish grin to my face! These are the kind of memories Jeff and I both want to make with our daughters.
While in Seaside, we visited the usual candy shops to fill up on sugar, had lunch at Jeff's favorite 'Doogers', and took Sophia on the magical Carousel.
At night, after putting the girls to sleep, Jeff and I would grab our treats that we had picked out from the candy store earlier, pop in a movie and just relax. It was SO nice to just relax! I can be a bit of a spazz and at home if we put on a movie, I am usually folding laundry, or finding something else to do while trying to watch the movie. It drives Jeff crazy and he'll usually say to me, 'just come sit down and relax with me." So at the beach when there was no cleaning to do, and all I could do was relax, that's exactly what I did! And so did Jeff! He has been working so hard and such long hours, that this trip was just what he needed to get rejuvenated and feel refreshed! It was such a wonderful, blessed weekend, just the four of us and when Jeff and I were talking about the last time we had been to the beach, we both asked ourselves why we had waited so long to come back!

My Sweet Love...

Dear Jeff; My hubby, best friend, father to our girls, amazing man:

Meeting you when I was just 15, make that technically 6, was no coincidence. God had a plan for you and me to be together all along. You are my best friend, other half, soul mate. You encourage me, inspire me and push me to be the best 'me' I can possibly be! You can read my thoughts, finish my sentences and know what I need by the look in my eyes. Every morning I am awoken by a kiss on either my lips or my forehead and an 'I love you', as you head out for work. You may be exhausted, but you never complain about working hard to provide for our family. You are such an amazing protector, provider and father to our girls. I feel so blessed to have you in my life and thank the Lord every day that he blessed me with you. Thank you for giving me your heart 12 years ago and for continuing to show me unconditional love and commitment every single day. When I am doubting myself, you are there to lift me up and remind me of what I am capable of. When I wake up in the morning with my hair sticking up in every direction and puffy eyes, you sincerely tell me how beautiful I am. You are honest and sincere. I am so proud of the amazing man you have become and seeing you with Sophia and Peyton melts my heart. I look at our little family and how far we have come. We planned for all of this when we were just teenagers and now we are living our dream! I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you:) Happy Valentine's Day my sweet love. You have my heart and always will! I will love you for eternity!

For My Fashion Lovers...

One word...Polyvore.

Shimmering Sands by Lindsi27 featuring cuffed short shorts

Check it out on my art blog
http://pursuitofprojects.blogspot.com/

Snuggle Bug...

I LOVE nap time with Sophia and not for the reason you would think, so that I can have quiet time to get things done. Nope. I love nap time with my oldest sweetheart for the fact that it's one on one time that I get to spend with her just chatting about the simple things. Every once in a while she will 'read' me (pages she's memorized) one of her Bible Stories such as 'Jesus Feeds the 5,000', however sometimes we just talk about Daddy or Peyton or her barbies. She has so much life in her eyes when she describes the thoughts in her head that it just melts me and makes me so proud to be her mom. Sophia always takes a nap in our big bed and then goes to bed at night in her little bed upstairs. It's special to her to get to sleep on Mommy and Daddy's pillow and she has actually begun telling me it's time to take a nap, which if you know Sophia, this is probably a shocker! We often lay facing each other, exchanging Eskimo kisses and fidgeting under the blankets until there is no longer movement and that's when I know she it out cold. Today she asked if I was cold and shared her special 'brown blanky' with me. She then got within an inch of my face, gently brushed her little hand along my cheek and said in a voice of certainty and comfort, "you're my Momma." We then fell asleep hand in hand.

My little girls are my heart and my everything! These moments are moments that I wouldn't give up for a million dollars; they are priceless. I feel like my cup is overflowing with blessings and I am so thankful that the Lord has blessed me with these two incredibly precious angels. With them, my life is complete:)

The picture below is of Sophia sporting a bubble beard in the bath and having a ball!

Pursuit of Projects...

I love a good deal! Who doesn't!? So I thought I would share some of my thrift store finds on my art blog with you! Enjoy and let me know what you think!

Daddy's Little Girl...

From the moment this little girl came into the world, she had her Daddy wrapped around her little finger. He cried the second he laid eyes on her, and melted the instant he felt her little body in his arms. Sophia has, and always will be her Daddy's little girl. Her first word was 'da-da', and she is a spitting image of her Daddy! She can push your buttons, and then turn around and melt your heart with her tender touch. She is an amazing little girl that continues to surprise me on a daily basis.

For a while there, she had become quite the Mommy's girl and it was a fight every night to just get her to say good night to Jeff. She would scream 'no' when he would walk in the door, home from work, and if he would try to pick her up to give her a hug, she would cry out for me and refuse to give him any affection. For a Daddy who adored his little girl to no end, it was heart breaking for Jeff. I don't think she intentionally meant to hurt his feelings, she had just been with me all day and I was the parent she was used to being around 24-7.

I am thrilled to say she has moved on past this phase and now can't get enough of her Daddy! And Jeff completely eats it up! She gets so excited now when he gets home from work and asks constantly through out the day where her Daddy is. She told me the other day, that she didn't like 'work' because it takes her Daddy away. Jeff and Sophia also play barbies together, take bubble baths together, and work out together, lol. Their favorite thing to do together these days is bond while using 'The Total Gym' workout machine. I just love how in this video Sophia is dressed up in one of her fancy dresses complete with a princess crown and fairy wings, and is sitting on Jeff's lap just chatting away like this is the 'norm' as he does calve raises on the Total Gym. Below is a video of my multi-tasking hubby(please excuse the low quality of this video, it was taken on my iphone). Watching them together just makes my heart smile:)

First Post...

After I finished reading a book my friend had given me for Christmas called, "God Loves Ugly", my thoughts have changed and I am viewing my reflection differently. I hope you enjoy my very first post on my art blog and it encourages you to truly love yourself for who God created you to be!

http://pursuitofprojects.blogspot.com/

Structure...

Since being a stay at home Mom, I have found I am able to accomplish so much more around the house, in addition, spend more quality time with my girls. Well, up until now our days consisted of wake up, breakfast, play, read a few books, nap time, wake up, play, dinner, baths, play, read a few more books, prayers, and bed time.

As much as I absolutely love twirling Sophia around, as her pink, fluffy princess dress floats right along with her, and of course I could never get enough of playing chase with Peyton and watching her crawl as fast as she can, while she also giggles adorably; I feel as if I could do so much for my girls, mentally. I want to nurture their brains as much as I nurture their hearts. So I have decided that before and after nap times, I will sit down and work with the girls separately in different areas for their age level. I will go over letters, numbers, word identification, Spanish, art, and the Bible with Sophia, and parts of the body, hand eye coordination, speech, and action-reaction with Peyton. I know this will take more work on my part, as I will have to plan small, informal activity schedules and be more organized about our day, but I know it will definitely be worth it for my girls.

I have seen so much growth in Sophia's understanding and imagination lately and would love to nurture it even more! She loves the story of 'Goldie Locks and the Three Bears' and always requests it before nap time. We have also begun reading kid's Bible stories to her, and her favorites are 'Jonah and the Whale', 'Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand', and 'David and Goliath'. Dora remains one of her favorite cartoon characters which I love, because she learns Spanish too. She now knows what mi primo (my cousin), mi casa (my house), hola (hello), la fiesta (the party), and lo hicimos (we did it). We are currently working on las flores (the flowers), las mariposas (the butterflies), and un perrito (a puppy). Though I want her to be a 'kid' and enjoy fun time at home, I also want her to grow and blossom into the bright little girl I know she is!

Endless Possibilities...

I sometimes wonder what God created me for or why I am on this beautiful earth? Not because I doubt His purpose, but rather because I wonder how I can have such a passion for so many different areas of life? I love to draw, paint, photograph, decorate, bake, sculpt, write poems, write essays, make jewelry, research, type, etc., etc. So as you can see I am a bit confused as to what direction I am supposed to go.

I know God created me to be a nurturer and a mother to my two beautiful and precious little girls. I know this because ever since I was young I had dolls that I took with me EVERYWHERE! My mother can attest to this. I loved playing house and changing my baby dolls, feeding them, and putting them to sleep. And though there are some sleepless nights and tiring days, I know this is what God created me for.

I also know He built in me a passion and desire to create and make things beautiful. I tend to be a bit of a dabbler and can never focus on just one project. Instead, I usually have about 4 things going at the same time. I think other artists understand this frenzy and can relate to this. But I guess my main question being, "how do I use my love for all of these things to bring joy to others, help others, and make the world a better place? Hmmm, I have been thinking and came up with the idea of an Art Blog. A blog in which I can post my creative ideas and art projects in hopes of inspiring others creativity or sparking a new idea! The blog would have no limits. I could post a poem, photographs, art projects, a recipe, decorating ideas, etc. It would in essence be an eclectic assortment of anything to do with Art! What'd ya think?

Well, I decided to go for it and titled it (with the help of my hubby)'Pursuit of Projects: Painting the Soul'. I have no posts yet, as it is VERY new! But I will be sure to let you know when the posting and craft ideas begin. I hope you will visit it often and offer any ideas you might have as well:)

Family Dinner and Talk Time...

When I was growing up I had always thought to myself, "now when I have a family of my own, we will all sit down to a nice meal, chat about our day and catch up. Well, after 8 1/2 years of marriage and two kiddos later, we are finally sitting down together as a family and enjoying dinner together and it's wonderful! Jeff and I eat and Sophia entertains us with her little stories and long jumbled sentences about her day and what Hurley or Peyton did. She usually fits something in along the way that has me and Jeff cracking up and asking each other where she got that from. Peyton also joins us at the table in her high chair and seems to be quite entertained by her big sis just as much as we are. I have a feeling Sophia will be the comic relief of our family. Our house feels full and our family complete, and I couldn't be happier!

Binky Baby...

This weening of the binky, will be a whole new experience for us, since Sophia wanted nothing to do with any shape or brand of pacifier. Sophia was an easy baby to nurse, thus cutting out the binky. To soothe her, nursing was the only way. However, with Peyton, it was the exact opposite! Peyton was quite the challenge to nurse and I think I stressed us both out by trying so hard to make it happen. At two months I finally accepted she was not going to nurse. However, Peyton loved her binky and still has to have it at nap time and bed time to fall asleep. She also likes to have it with her pretty much at all times even when she is eating, lol. She will take it out of her mouth, set it on her highchair tray, eat her food, and when she is finished, pop it right back into her mouth, lol. Sometimes she will even try to eat with it still in her mouth! I would like to start only giving it to her during her naps and bed time so that eventually she will be free of it all together. Sophia has always been a blanky girl and has to have her brown blanky with her at naps and bedtime. And Peyton has just begun needing this particular white satin blanky to go to sleep. I'm hoping since she has her blanky to soother her, it might be easier to ween her of her binky,? I guess only time will tell:)